Parents should think carefully about how they bring up the divorce conversation with their children. Divorce can have a major impact on kids, and the way that you tell them definitely plays a role. There are some steps that you can take to make this go smoothly and help the children transition into the next stage in life.
So, how should you approach this conversation? Below are three important tips:
Tell the children at once
First off, tell all of the children at the same time. The last thing you want is for one child to find out about the upcoming divorce from a sibling or from someone else in the family. Ideally, you just want to have a conversation with your entire family, including your spouse and all of your children.
Give them the time they need
Children may want to talk over the details of the divorce, ask questions about what the future is going to look like and much more. Give them time to talk and voice these questions or concerns. Try to provide them with helpful answers and information. Address this as a two-way conversation so that the children feel involved, rather than just informing them about the divorce.
Don’t tell them until you’re sure
Finally, don’t bring up the divorce topic until you know that the divorce is going to happen. You and your spouse certainly may have discussed it before taking any formal steps to get divorced – some couples talk about it and then change their minds – but you don’t need to bring the children into the conversation until it’s a sure thing.
Once these conversations begin, make sure you also understand what legal steps you can take as you seek to put your children’s best interests first.